Being disoriented scares me.  I’ve been reading my grandma’s updates about my step grandpa and he’s rapidly losing his sense of the world.  He wakes up and gets lost within their one-story house.  He asks questions which refer to situations that have long past.  He mixes up the time of day.  His regression is frightening and in my usual “me” philosophy, I can’t help but speculate about how I too will experience the same in old age.

We as a people are fortunate.  We have been given an awareness which other species don’t possess.  In our division from nature, we have developed heightened feelings of anxiety, but also a greater understanding of our world.  This dichotomy is both a blessing and a curse.  Overall though—it’s a privilege.

What happens when we lose this consciousness?  What then, when we retreat back to a dulled existence?

I wonder what goes through his mind as he tries to piece together where he is.  It’s a shadowy existence.  I can only sympathize for him but my feelings are not empathy.  Inevitably though, I will come to understand.

@2 years ago